2018

We’re halfway through month one of 2018, gladly, I can say I have nothing to report. My mom and I have been arguing for about two weeks, but that’s a can of worms that nobody needs to hear about. Right?

I will say that one of the things said to me by her was that I need to get some serious help. That one hurt. That hurt a lot, especially because it came from the person I should feel the most close to and safe around.

To set it up, we were driving through downtown, we have to share a car at the moment so she needed to come to the radio station with me one night. There was a Wolves game so it was really crowded. Someone cut in front of us near a bus stop that always makes me anxious to be near because of news stories and I don’t particularly like the thought of someone possibly having a gun on them at the moment. She started to yell at the person who cut us off and I asked her to just be quiet while we were in all that traffic because I was anxious. She said I was overreacting and that I need serious help.  Ouch. Huge dagger.

The problem I have is that I was at an event where a huge tragedy happened. People were running for their lives, making last phone calls to their loved ones, screaming. Being shot. Did she forget that 58 people died? I feel as though it’s expected that we move on by now. It was only three and a half months ago!

PTSD is real. And it’s a bitch.

I still shut my eyes and hear/see everything from those 14 ish minutes. I can’t stand the thought of hearing bubble wrap. I go through every day waiting to be scared, waiting for something to send me into a dark place to where I don’t want to leave my bed. It’s exhausting for those of us who have been through something like that to go about our days as though it never happened. Please don’t expect something like this to go away. It doesn’t. We heal and we keep going. We do whatever we can to try and find joy in our lives or to try and figure out the reason we survived. We keep on surviving. Healing means that we’ve got the courage to keep doing things that make us happy and not let the fear take over our lives.

I titled this “2018” because, well, that’s what it is. A new year! What do I want out of this year? Considering how ridiculous 2017 was, the answer is simple. Not much. I do want to pay it forward. I saw an amazing example of kindness and love that horrible night and I think that we could all be more kind to one another. I don’t have the money to donate to causes but I do love to just talk to people and try to put even the smallest smile on their face. In a way, that’s paying it forward. That’s what I want out of the year, more kindness. Kindness from myself and this sometimes effed up world we live in.

Volunteering is on my list, but it can’t be with animals. I don’t have enough tears left, norm will my dog be happy when I show up with 30 new dogs a night. But something. I will volunteer this year.


I also turn 30. Nashville, I shall see you in June. No long-winded explanation needed!

There’s more to come out of this year and I promise (semi-promise) to check back in once in a while. If you actually read this whole thing, thank you. Happy New Year!

What I've Been Up To

First off, thanks to an Instagram follower for calling me out on being a terrible blogger and not updating for a while and asking for an update!

Secondly, I'm sorry! I've told you, I'm bad at this. I've gone around in circles daily wondering what to write about, and nothing made me so fired up that I had to write, so I didn't. I'm sorry!

Here's what I've been up to the last two weeks:

I started full time back at the coffee shop. 39 hours a week, 12-7:30 each day. I've had to re work my workout schedule, my eating schedule and say farewell to my social life, or so it feels. 

I could write about that or post here when I get home at night, but I want to walk my dog and eat before dark.. And then I fall asleep. Sorry! 

Something cool did happen there last week; a woman who I met at my original store came in and didn't recognize me. Once I started a conversation with her, she realized who I was. She said she didn't recognize me because I look so different than the last time she saw me. In the back of my mind, the whole time I've been losing weight, I always wanted that to happen. It sounds dumb, but that was a victory. That moment made the last few years worth it. It put a smile on my face that had been missing for months! 

The job front:

I posted that I want this mug on my first day at a new radio job. What I should have said was "once I get a new radio gig, I'm rewarding myself with this mug."

I've had a ton of interviews, reached

out to personal connections and sent hundreds of demos. I'm trying. Hard. 

I met with a local small station here a few weeks ago, it wasn't for a country spot, but it was mornings and it would hold me over until I found something. Had my heart set on that. My friend there called me today and apologetically said he couldn't take me on as a paid employee. They just don't have the money like he had hoped. I'm crushed. But I respect him for being honest with me and caring enough to call and keep me in the loop. He actually wants me to succeed. 

I also had an interview for a station in Wisconsin, it went good, the guy was great and super nice to me. He said he was impressed with my knowledge and passion for the industry. It's a top 40 station and mornings, nothing came of that interview, but I'm glad I talked to them strictly because of the nice things that guy had to say. 

In more positive news, I do have a contract somewhere. I've been in contact with this station pretty much since I was fired. I'm not going to announce where it is or my time slot until I find a place to live. I've been struggling and stressing about that and it's hard to get excited until that slightly important factor gets taken care of. Stay tuned. (What's the proper blog term for that?)

To all of my supporters and followers, hold tight, I'll be back in your radio/smart phone soon. Sooner rather than later. I promise. 

I've had people reach out to me on Twitter and Instagram asking when they can hear me again, you guys will never know how happy those messages have made me. They have made me miss country radio and the microphone more than I already did. I love you guys. 

I'm heading to Las Vegas this weekend to see my best friend, Leah. God, I miss her and I need her! Follow me on Twitter/Instagram @RadioKatie1 for our shenanigans, I cannot WAIT! 

Have a good week, and thank you

For calling me out on not posting ;).