Back To Bou.

About three weeks ago, someone reached out to me to come help out at her Caribou store until I found a job back in radio. 

Well, I thought about it, got angry, cried a bit and then said "okay." 

 

This is what it's like to go back to your college job. 

I'm wasting everyone's time being retrained, as it turns out, making a latte is just like riding a bike, you never forget it. 

To the company and the suites, though, it doesn't matter. I was gone for almost a year, and I've spent the last two weeks filling out all the same books, watching people make terrible lattes and mochas and learning how to punch in the numbers all over again. If there's anything that pisses me off, it's wasting time and I've feel like that's what I've been doing. 

I have, however, enjoyed seeing peole who use to come into my old store, I've loved catching up with them! But there's also a negative to catching up with them..

The reason I didn't go back to my original store is because I can't tell the story of how messed up everything is anymore. I know that they want to know and that they care, but I've told it hundreds of times and I just don't have the strength to do it. 

I've had to excuse myself from the counter to go into the bathroom and cry. I cry because I'm so angry that this is how it's panned out for me. Where did I go wrong? This is not how it was suppose to go. 

I have that same meltdown every time I tell the story and after every shift on the drive home. That, my friends, is not healthy. 

I opened the arbor lakes store back in 2006 and worked there full and part time up until I moved to Montana. Never did I think I would be back. But here I am. And I'm not happy. 

And my goodness, I love my friend/manager, but she tells me to smile all the time. Guess what, that leads to tears, too. Never tell an angry person to smile or cheer up. Doesn't end well for anyone! 

And I can hear the voices out there telling me to just be happy it's a job for now. To those people, stop it. I get it.  I don't need the whole lecture saying "be glad they took you back. You made decisions that got you here. Money is money." Blah blah blah. See? Just have myself the lecture. 

Needed to get that off my chest, so thanks for sticking around, if you did! 

Angry notes aside, my friends. I've got an amazing group of friends surrounding me and that is one thing I know and and beyond grateful for. Some of them know when I need to vent, others know when I just want to zone out and forget for a while or if I don't want to talk and just need my space. I love them for that. I don't know what I did to deserve them, but man, I'm so lucky to know each of them. I should thank them every day, because 2015-16 has been quite the ride. Some friendships have been lost, and that's sad, but I'm more happy about the friendships that have gotten stronger through the rough patches, you guys know who you are (Including my dog) and I love you! 

 

 

Dealing With Cravings And How I Resist

I asked and someone delivered! 

 I asked you to let me know what I should write about and someone listened! 

Rachel, she use to come into Caribou all the time and I became close to her and her daughter, Kelsey. She asked a question I get all the time! 

"I would love to know about how you work through days when eating healthy is tough for you. How did you cross that threshold? Any specific strategies that you use?"

That's a great one, considering the other night I had a dream that I was at a birthday party where I ate a half a pizza, two muffins, a cookie, a donut, a cupcake and ice cream all in about 30 minutes. I woke up pretty hungry! 

The truth is, I never get over those cravings, especially in hard times, but I never give in. 

Right. But how!? 

I think of how I use to be, how I ate, how I felt and how I looked or how about the fact that walking made it hard to breathe? What got me there? Giving in to those bad cravings to have a gallon or 5 of ice cream. I use to feel slow and greasy and sweaty all the time, I like how I feel now! And, I know that if I give in to a pile of cupcakes, I will hate myself for a long time afterwords. 

Oh, and I can hear my trainers voice in my head saying "so, how's that nutrition going for you?" (Thanks, Kirk, you're haunting me.) 

I'm not always perfect, either. I do allow myself a sensible cheat every now and then, but I don't do a cheat day... Usually it's a cheat item. My metabolism still isn't in a place where it's use to healthy eating, my body still holds onto a lot of crap if I allow it into my system.. So I choose to avoid it if possible. 

Another tip is to find substitutes! Here are some of my favorites:

-Frozen Blueberries! I CRAVE ice cream daily, hell, hourly. These are a great sweet tooth fix! One cup is 100 calories or less!

-Almond milk, one of my favorite cheat items is to heat up organic dark chocolate almond milk. Boom. Hot chocolate!

- Angie's boom chicka pop popcorn. It's gluten free and free of chemicals and such. I may be addicted to it, but a handful is more than satisfying. But, confession time, I'm not perfect and I have enjoyed a full bag in one sitting. Oops. 

 

-Almonds. Great for energy, buy the emeralds 100 calorie packs and keep them in your purse or desk. (NOT THE FLAVORED ONES!!!) 

-Sweet Potato.. Ever had a craving for a hamburger but don't want the carbs of the bun. Slice a sweet potato into thin, round pieces, roast them. Put your burger between two of those pieces. You're so very welcome ;). 

Another tip, load up on protein and healthy fats. Carbs make you crave things, protein fills you up! 

I also eat more smaller meals throughout the day, not three meals. That's a load of crap. If I only ate three times a day, not many people would like me. You'll be hungry less if you eat 6 smaller meals a day. Try eating a little something every two hours! And it's true, never skip breakfast!!!! I'm absolutely miserable if I don't eat before 9am!

I'm not an expert, I've gone through the lifestyle change and I know what it's like. I'm here to share with you what worked for me and that's all! 

Hope that answered your question, Rachel! 

I'm Really Bad At This!

A couple weeks ago, I made a promise to be better about writing here. Didn't take me long to break that, did it? 

I have a couple of reasons, but neither of them offer up a good, acceptable excuse. 

1. I don't want this to be a depressing place, I want you people to come here and leave smiling 90 percent of the time. And, the truth it, I'm very angry at how life has played out lately so a lot of my thoughts are angry and just stupid. 

I've never wanted to be one of those people who walk into a room and bring the mood down, I take pride in knowing I can make people laugh and smile, I love that. So if I feel like I'm going to be a downer, chances are, I'd rather just not say anything. 

2. I'll have an idea of something to write about and then by the time I get home, I've forgotten it. 

3. I'll have a thought but then I question whether or not anyone wants to hear about things like the job update, my favorite songs right now, finding the perfect trainer and whatever else flows through my mind. So I ask you, what do you want to hear about? Anything at all! Comment on this or tweet me @RadioKatie1 . I want this to be an interactive place! 

I'm working on a blog now that'll talk about my first few days back at my college job, no promises it'll be a happy post! 

The Final Rose!

Spoiler alert ahead, so if you haven't watched Ben propose yet, sorry!

Come on!!! We knew it was Lauren from like, week two! 

I sent a tweet when she got out of the limo that said something like "oooo, he likes Lauren!" How did I know? The freaking look! He looked at her in a way that we all want someone to look at us. He looked at her in a different way than any of the other girls! 

"But he loved JoJo, too!"

True. and the best argument I've heard on this is that he called her his best friend (I've got my own personal thoughts on falling for a best friend. I'm saving that for another blog.) and I agree 100% with the argument, but I was having a conversation with one of my best friends and if he really did love JoJo, then how is it that once Neil Lane asked if he made a choice, he easily, confidently said yes. 

I think his connection with JoJo may have been more of a physical attraction, where as Lauren is definitely a 100% emotional love. The real kind. 

And you JoJo lovers get to watch her give out roses come May!

I heard that the terrible women on "The View" today we're pissed that he called her dad before popping the question instead of mom. Well okay, miss "I take women's rights to a new low," are you kidding!? It's tradition that a gentelman call and ask for her dads permission. People like that have too much time and aren't happy with their lives. Come on! 

There is one thing that did throw me off, and again, maybe it's because of a personal connection, I don't know. I posted on Twitter and Facebook that I was annoyed when Ben said he was worried that things seem so easy and comfortable with Lauren. HE'S SCARED ABOUT BEING COMFORTABLE with the one he loves!? Why!!!??

Aren't you suppose so be at ease and comfortable with the person you spend your life with? Are you not suppose to feel like you can tell them anything, laugh, cry and be best friends with? Why does that scare people!? Ggrrrrr!!! Happiness and good comes from giving into your fears! *pulling my hair out and shouting this 

Anyways, that's what annoyed me

most. That and the extra long, corny speech given at the end when Ben took over for Chris Harrison, it was way past bedtime. Oh! And the ring. Of all the ones he had to choose from, why that one!? I didn't know Neil Lane had ugly rings! 

I say every year that I'm not going to obsess over it, that's a lie. I'm looking forward to May when JoJo starts passing out roses, one to the brother of GB Packer, Aaron Rodgers! 

Be sure to join me in tweeting about it, follow me @RadioKatie1

Until next time! 

Passion/$

I'm laying here on what seems like the millionth day of unemployment and I'm thinking about a news story I recently heard on Kare 11.

It basically said that Millenials (I hate that term) aren't making any more money than people our age were 30 years ago. 

I've never been one to really read more into a story, I'm a "get the headline and go" kind of gal, but one guy really stood out and hit home to me. 

He said he thinks it's because our generation focuses on finding a job that we're passionate about, something that gets us excited and not so much how much cash it'll get us. He hit the nail on the head!

In my current situation, people have talked to me and more annoyingly amongst themselves and said I should look outside of radio, find something that'll make me more money. But I don't want to, and I feel judged for that. Very judged. 

I live with my mom and every day she comes home complaining about her job, she's crabby and sometimes is afraid of her boss. Yeah, she makes "decent" money, but what kind of life is that!? I think of how different our lives would be, hers especially,  if she hadn't dropped out of nursing school just for the fact of making money quicker. 

If I was all about the money, I would have gotten a business degree, or gotten over my fear of needles and gone to medical school but I know that I wouldn't be happy. 

At some points in this radio journey did I lose sleep at night or feel stressed? Hell yes I did, but I didn't care. Country music is what I want to do, making people laugh makes me happy. If my job doesn't involve those two things, I don't want it. 

So, don't judge me. Especially because I'm one of the lucky ones who knows what she wants to do in life. A lot of people don't and they spend their lives trying to figure that shit out!

What's new on this job hunt?

I spent 8 years working for Caribou Coffee, a store manager/friend heard about my situation and said she needs my help. I swallowed my pride and told her I would be available to her, but if a radio job comes up, I'm out. She understands. 

I'm also heading out of town for a final interview with a country station. Do I want to move away again? Absolutely not. But, I realize that I have to if I want to ever put on my hot pink headphones again. 

That Kare 11 story is what encouraged me to go up for a final interview, I needed that push. I wasn't giving up, but I felt like I was giving in to failure and taking the easy way out by returning to a past job. If you know me, I do NOT take failure lightly. Just ask people who have watched me try and snowboard ;). 

Have a great weekend, I'll try and be better about posting! 

Here's the story: 

 

The Next Step

As I sit here on a Wednesday waiting to take a class that'll apparently teach me how to get another job, I wanted to share with you what I did on Monday as another step in the weight loss journey.

That's my friend, Kim and I at our gym about a year ago. She wanted to take a picture of our guns. I wasn't having it because of that flap of skin that is very obvious in this picture. 

I can't stand to look at myself in the mirror because of that. And I should be proud of it, that shows all my hard work over the years! 

It's loose skin, not fat anymore, just skin. 

So, since I've lost over 100lbs, I know that a lot of that isn't going to shape itself or go away, it means surgery of some sorts. 

After talking with my Trainer, Kirk, and he suggested getting a consult just to see what a surgeon has to say and get an idea of how much more work we have to do in order to qualify. 

Monday, I went in for a consult!! 

Let me tell you, I was expecting to be pinched and pulled, but wow! 

I had to strip down to the bra and undies, and then, when she looked at my legs/thighs, she even took the panty line even lower. Yikes! 

What was the result?

Better than I thought, I think!

I was certain going on there that my stomach was going to need a lot more work, wrong again!

My arms, very obviously, are ready for take off. Literally. 

My stomach.... Drumroll..... Underneath all that SKIN is definition! It's not fat, like I thought, it's skin! Close to 15lbs of skin! 

Sounds like great news, right?

Well, the problem is my legs. She said there's a lot of fat left on them and suggested Lipo. I don't really want to do that, I've been proud of the work I've been able to do and I'd like to work to get them a little closer to where they need to be. 

 

I do think I'm going to go in and get the arm wings taken care of. I wonder how much better just those alone would make

my workouts. Would that make my running time quicker? 

A lot to think about, so stay tuned! 

Ben loves her, but he loves her too?

One of my guilty pleasures since going to college in Mankato had been the Bachelor/Bachelorette series. I'm a JUNKIE!

I look forward every week to live tweeting it and sharing snarky remarks that do or do not make sense and I love it even more when the Twitter world responds!

I lived in Montana over the summer and toyed with the idea of going to the casting call for this season of the bachelor. Why I didn't go, again, no valid excuse! I'm still kicking myself because it ended up being Ben Higgins!

This week was the overnight date week, let's be honest. Who wouldn't take a fantasy suite with Ben? 

The thing that stood out to me the most happened in the first 5 minutes of the show, when he was talking about the three girls left. JoJo, Caila and Lauren B!

The way he talked about Lauren. The hopeless romantic in me couldn't help but smile, his voice was different, he was emotional, he needs to marry her like yesterday!

And then I started hating him. He made us all cry when he broke the rules and dropped "L" word to Lauren. But then, he said it to JoJo too! What the eff, Ben!? 

And the hatred grew. Caila. Oh, Caila. The poor girl was so happy going over there. Producers more than likely saw how happy she was and knew she was going home so they ruined her day on purpose. 

This was so hard to watch because we've all been there, we've all poured our hearts out to someone and expressed our feelings only to have them not reciprocated. It just plain sucks. So I feel for her, we all do. 

Also, her exit was the perfect set up for for next Bachelorette. I like Becca, but this was her second time around, amber has been on a few times with the franchise and the runner up, well, she won't be able to compare to Caila's exit. Let's be honest. 

The real question I have is How can he tell both women that he's in love with them!? If you love someone, to me, there's no one else. Even when you break up with someone but still love them, you can't love someone else and it would take a fight to convince me otherwise. 

So, do I think he loves either of them? No. I think he's got a better connection and he really really cares about Lauren in all the right ways, but likes JoJo's ... Umm, whatever. He can't love both of them. 

He gets emotional and all adorable when it comes to Lauren, like I said, just choose her!

What's with the previews? The phone call? Does he pull a Jason Mesnick and propose to the wrong girl? Has he not stopped thinking about our girl, Caila? 

I've had a hard time really getting into this season, but I'm super excited to see what happens there. 

I don't think I'll watch the women tell all because I never enjoy them, it makes me embarrassed to be a woman and seeing all the name calling and emotional breakdowns. We all have them, just behind closed doors or in our cars screaming to loud music. Any place other than national television, girls! 

On a completely different note, so many sweet words about my last post, even Heidi Powell saw it and gave me a virtual fist bump, yes! Your kind words are my motivation, so thank you again!

I went completely out of my comfort zone and took the next step in this whole journey. What was it? Check back tomorrow ;).