Back To Bou.

About three weeks ago, someone reached out to me to come help out at her Caribou store until I found a job back in radio. 

Well, I thought about it, got angry, cried a bit and then said "okay." 

 

This is what it's like to go back to your college job. 

I'm wasting everyone's time being retrained, as it turns out, making a latte is just like riding a bike, you never forget it. 

To the company and the suites, though, it doesn't matter. I was gone for almost a year, and I've spent the last two weeks filling out all the same books, watching people make terrible lattes and mochas and learning how to punch in the numbers all over again. If there's anything that pisses me off, it's wasting time and I've feel like that's what I've been doing. 

I have, however, enjoyed seeing peole who use to come into my old store, I've loved catching up with them! But there's also a negative to catching up with them..

The reason I didn't go back to my original store is because I can't tell the story of how messed up everything is anymore. I know that they want to know and that they care, but I've told it hundreds of times and I just don't have the strength to do it. 

I've had to excuse myself from the counter to go into the bathroom and cry. I cry because I'm so angry that this is how it's panned out for me. Where did I go wrong? This is not how it was suppose to go. 

I have that same meltdown every time I tell the story and after every shift on the drive home. That, my friends, is not healthy. 

I opened the arbor lakes store back in 2006 and worked there full and part time up until I moved to Montana. Never did I think I would be back. But here I am. And I'm not happy. 

And my goodness, I love my friend/manager, but she tells me to smile all the time. Guess what, that leads to tears, too. Never tell an angry person to smile or cheer up. Doesn't end well for anyone! 

And I can hear the voices out there telling me to just be happy it's a job for now. To those people, stop it. I get it.  I don't need the whole lecture saying "be glad they took you back. You made decisions that got you here. Money is money." Blah blah blah. See? Just have myself the lecture. 

Needed to get that off my chest, so thanks for sticking around, if you did! 

Angry notes aside, my friends. I've got an amazing group of friends surrounding me and that is one thing I know and and beyond grateful for. Some of them know when I need to vent, others know when I just want to zone out and forget for a while or if I don't want to talk and just need my space. I love them for that. I don't know what I did to deserve them, but man, I'm so lucky to know each of them. I should thank them every day, because 2015-16 has been quite the ride. Some friendships have been lost, and that's sad, but I'm more happy about the friendships that have gotten stronger through the rough patches, you guys know who you are (Including my dog) and I love you!