Living With Someone Who's Not So Healthy

This post is doing exactly what I hoped to do way back when I started this thing, answer questions! For the last three years, MANY people have asked how I maintain the healthy eating when I live with someone who is the complete opposite, my mom. The answer is quite simple, actually. We have to have separate cupboards and sections in the fridge or freezer. If I see the snack cakes or the ice cream, I'm going to want it. "But Katie, isn't that hard?" Absolutely. I think the hardest part is grocery shopping. Since I'm living there rent free, I do all the shopping. If it were up to me, I would buy fruits, veggies and protein. Nothing else. I wouldn't look at cookies, ice cream, bread or anything else fun. But I do then I'm more tempted to buy something bad for myself and, I hope this doesn't hurt her feelings, but I get embarrassed sometimes when I run into people who know me or even at the checkout lanes because I've got my healthy stuff and her bad stuff. I feel like some stuck up snob in front of me is judging me by the cookies I put on the belt and automatically assuming that they're for me. Wrong. The other hard part, which isn't even me being worried anymore, it's me being annoyed, is that she's had a lot of health issues but she doesn't want to change. Not even after watching me go through this physical and mental transformation. It's upsetting that she just seems to have given up but the more I push her, the more insulted she feels. So I give up. I do always use ground turkey or grass fed beef on occasion when I make dinner for both of us and I don't eat whatever she's having on the side. I eat veggies instead of french fries, A salad with greens instead of mac & cheese and so on. I make my healthy swaps, yes, it is more work, but worth it for me. She eats ice cream.. That is by far the biggest challenge for me, if you read my first or second blog, you know that I'm fully capable of eating a gallon or two of the good stuff. So, I leave and walk the dog when she pulls that out of the freezer. I keep Angies Boom Chicka Pop and frozen berries close if I need something or on a rare occasion, a greek yogurt. When you decide to take control of your health, there are always going to be people who question you, make fun of how much you post about it and try and tempt you, but be stronger than them in every single way! It's going to be hard and annoying, but always remember how you felt before starting, keep a picture close, have a goal and look at it every day. Then, those people won't matter and it'll go in one ear and out the other. As far as them making fun of you for posting on facebook, twitter and insta. They don't have to follow you, if they don't like it, there's a button they can click, right!? Hope that answers that question for you! I end with this amazing salad that I had last weekend in Stillwater, checkout the Dock Cafe if you're ever there. It's right on the river and delicious! This salad had apples, pecans, butternut squash and more tossed in an apple vinaigrette. YUM!

The Scale Is Just A Number

I haven't stepped on a scale since I moved back home from Montana.. Nearly one year ago! I hate it, it means nothing to me, It doesn't know that I go to the gym and push myself 6 days a week, two hours a day. It doesn't know and it doesn't care. That being said, I had been feeling like I would see results and two GUYS, one of them being my trainer mentioned that I looked smaller... "way smaller." So, I did it. I went into the bathroom at the gym yesterday and stepped on. The number on that scale went against any compliment anyone has given me about looking in better shape. It ruined my mood, my workout and confidence for the day. Stepping on the scale and seeing that number didn't make me think "Oh, maybe it's the scale, I don't know how to use this one." It made me mad. I've been pinching every penny to eat right and pay for good workouts and the support of an amazing trainer/friend and I've got nothing to show. We all know that's a load of shit. Me feeling fat the rest of the day and being on the verge of tears was for no reason. Yes, it's normal, I should feel disappointed, but that's crap. Hell, on Monday, we had a reps challenge and I was intimidated by the fit girls by my side and i was the first one done. I wanted to puke, but I did it. so, screw the scale. I emailed Kirk (trainer) and told him how upset I was and he reminded me that we switched up my workouts to lifting more, so I've definitely got more muscle than fat mass and that's where the scale doesn't know. and he said I was looking "way way smaller." It's really hard not to let the scale get to me, but that's why I lean on the trainer and everybody at my gym. we push each other and motivate each other. Anybody who finds themselves in a life long battle with that thing needs to pay more attention to themselves, what they're doing, how they're eating, how are the clothes fitting. HOW DO YOU FEEL? That's what's important. screw the numbers!

5K Playlist

I'd been wanting to run the Twin Cities In Motion's Red, Whitw and boom 5k for a few years, so today, I did! It was a beautiful course and a fun environment, can't wait until next year! I had said when I registered that I wanted to do it in 35 Minutes or less and I was pretty confident that with the interval training I've been doing, I'd be able to easily meet that goal. Did I?

Hope. Missed it by 4-ish minutes. Dang it! I'm happy with it considering how crummy I was feeling this morning, and one thing I told my trainer was that it was nice not being one of the last ones to finish; normally I'm in the very back of the group. I'll take that as a victory in my book! Before you tell or roll you eyes, there's nothing wrong with being in the back of the pack, you're there, you're being active and you should be proud of that! One of my favorite parts of these organized runs is getting to make a playlist. I make a different one each time I go out, a lot of the songs are the same, but I'm tricking my mind by throwing a few new ones in there.... Or something like that! I do, however, have two songs that MUST be on every one: Jason Aldean (obviously)- Night Train. If you follow me on any form of social media, you know that this is my 1 song I could listen to for the rest of my life and be perfectly happy if I never heard any other song again. Something about it brings me back to earth whenever I'm in a stressed out moment or just need to stop and breathe. We all have something that does that for us, this does it for me. It's always placed in the middle of a run. And the other? Life House (yes)- Hanging By A Moment. Whenever I say this to people, they laugh. Maybe it's a personal connection to the song, a memory that it brings back, something about screaming along to this song is extremely helpful to me in any given moment. I'll never not listen to this song. As for the rest of the playlist, check it out and enjoy :).

The Next Step

As I sit here on a Wednesday waiting to take a class that'll apparently teach me how to get another job, I wanted to share with you what I did on Monday as another step in the weight loss journey.

That's my friend, Kim and I at our gym about a year ago. She wanted to take a picture of our guns. I wasn't having it because of that flap of skin that is very obvious in this picture. 

I can't stand to look at myself in the mirror because of that. And I should be proud of it, that shows all my hard work over the years! 

It's loose skin, not fat anymore, just skin. 

So, since I've lost over 100lbs, I know that a lot of that isn't going to shape itself or go away, it means surgery of some sorts. 

After talking with my Trainer, Kirk, and he suggested getting a consult just to see what a surgeon has to say and get an idea of how much more work we have to do in order to qualify. 

Monday, I went in for a consult!! 

Let me tell you, I was expecting to be pinched and pulled, but wow! 

I had to strip down to the bra and undies, and then, when she looked at my legs/thighs, she even took the panty line even lower. Yikes! 

What was the result?

Better than I thought, I think!

I was certain going on there that my stomach was going to need a lot more work, wrong again!

My arms, very obviously, are ready for take off. Literally. 

My stomach.... Drumroll..... Underneath all that SKIN is definition! It's not fat, like I thought, it's skin! Close to 15lbs of skin! 

Sounds like great news, right?

Well, the problem is my legs. She said there's a lot of fat left on them and suggested Lipo. I don't really want to do that, I've been proud of the work I've been able to do and I'd like to work to get them a little closer to where they need to be. 

 

I do think I'm going to go in and get the arm wings taken care of. I wonder how much better just those alone would make

my workouts. Would that make my running time quicker? 

A lot to think about, so stay tuned! 

356 Will Not Be My Number

A question I've been getting a lot over the past two years is "what made you start to change your ways and want to get healthy?" 

The left is me at my largest, 5 years ago!

It's funny, I actually remember the very moment when I decided that I wasn't going to live my life eating out of a bucket of ice cream alone on the couch on a Saturday night any more.

I was 24 and doing just that. I was sitting on my moms couch watching Saturday Night Live with her and she could barely walk to go to bed. 

I was watching her struggle as I was eating my bucket (yes, I'm talking bucket of Kemps strawberry swirl ice cream,) and I was disgusted by myself. Why was I doing that? 

I had absolutely no reason to be eating all of that, and I did it multiple times a week, so why? No idea. But I decided that if I kept going like that, I was well on my way to not being able to walk up to my bed without needing a break. 

That Monday at work, I received an email asking if I was interested in a gym membership to a new group fitness facility in Minneapolis. Now, I'm not a big "sign from God" kind of person, but come on!

I, like all of us who are starting this journey, cancelled my first visit with Jake, the owner of Kosama in Minneapolis. But I went the next day, terrified. 

I will never forget how I felt during that first workout. I was doing push ups standing up against a wall, I puked in the car on my way home, it was terrifying! 

I got home that day and threw out all my ice cream and started researching what I should be eating and how, the rest is history. 

Here I am, down just over 130lbs and a completely new person all because I decided I was no longer wanting to feel like I did on the couch that night! 

We can all go on and on about how we don't have time or how we just don't like to workout and we like to eat bread and chocolate, but the thing is, I promise you, once you actually decide "this is it. I want to change my life. I don't want to feel this way anymore." Those excuses go out the window. 

If you still have excuses, you're not 100% ready to take it on and if you're not ready, you'll get discouraged by excuses or even the smallest budge of the scale. I know. 

I hope this answered the question, it makes sense in my twisty mind, but if it doesn't answer it, please ask. 

Have you had "the moment?" What was it? 

 

And before I go off on another job searching adventure, thanks to everyone for all the love for my first post. Like I said, it's a work in progress and that's okay. 

Next post? Maybe a Bachelor reaction and after that, what keeps me motivated!