Living With Someone Who's Not So Healthy

This post is doing exactly what I hoped to do way back when I started this thing, answer questions! For the last three years, MANY people have asked how I maintain the healthy eating when I live with someone who is the complete opposite, my mom. The answer is quite simple, actually. We have to have separate cupboards and sections in the fridge or freezer. If I see the snack cakes or the ice cream, I'm going to want it. "But Katie, isn't that hard?" Absolutely. I think the hardest part is grocery shopping. Since I'm living there rent free, I do all the shopping. If it were up to me, I would buy fruits, veggies and protein. Nothing else. I wouldn't look at cookies, ice cream, bread or anything else fun. But I do then I'm more tempted to buy something bad for myself and, I hope this doesn't hurt her feelings, but I get embarrassed sometimes when I run into people who know me or even at the checkout lanes because I've got my healthy stuff and her bad stuff. I feel like some stuck up snob in front of me is judging me by the cookies I put on the belt and automatically assuming that they're for me. Wrong. The other hard part, which isn't even me being worried anymore, it's me being annoyed, is that she's had a lot of health issues but she doesn't want to change. Not even after watching me go through this physical and mental transformation. It's upsetting that she just seems to have given up but the more I push her, the more insulted she feels. So I give up. I do always use ground turkey or grass fed beef on occasion when I make dinner for both of us and I don't eat whatever she's having on the side. I eat veggies instead of french fries, A salad with greens instead of mac & cheese and so on. I make my healthy swaps, yes, it is more work, but worth it for me. She eats ice cream.. That is by far the biggest challenge for me, if you read my first or second blog, you know that I'm fully capable of eating a gallon or two of the good stuff. So, I leave and walk the dog when she pulls that out of the freezer. I keep Angies Boom Chicka Pop and frozen berries close if I need something or on a rare occasion, a greek yogurt. When you decide to take control of your health, there are always going to be people who question you, make fun of how much you post about it and try and tempt you, but be stronger than them in every single way! It's going to be hard and annoying, but always remember how you felt before starting, keep a picture close, have a goal and look at it every day. Then, those people won't matter and it'll go in one ear and out the other. As far as them making fun of you for posting on facebook, twitter and insta. They don't have to follow you, if they don't like it, there's a button they can click, right!? Hope that answers that question for you! I end with this amazing salad that I had last weekend in Stillwater, checkout the Dock Cafe if you're ever there. It's right on the river and delicious! This salad had apples, pecans, butternut squash and more tossed in an apple vinaigrette. YUM!

Short and Sweet- My Class Reunion

The night before my 10 year class reunion, I was having nightmares that nobody I was excited to see showed up, only people I didn't like very much or had no interest in catching up with. The fake ones, the ones who were my friend up until graduation day and then that was it. But guess what. It was amazing! I felt so good walking into the room, loved my outfit, I had a smile on my face, took a deep breath, said "okay," and went down the last step. Instantly got hugs from former classmates. Between the hugging and looking over to see Tiffany, one of my closest friends throughout high school running over to me, I knew I was in for a great night. A lot of my night was spent hanging around with my normal group that I had back in the day and that was amazing, the last time I saw them was when Dan and Lacey got married.. That was a while ago, by the way! I loved dancing the night away with them, I left with a smile on my face because of moments like that. I also absolutely loved walking around and talking with people whom I rarely connected with in school, it was after graduation that we were Facebook friends. When I wasn't dancing, that's what i was doing and I loved it. I didn't want the night to end, but it did and I was back in Albertville by midnight. I've been talking about it and telling my friends about it all week and explaining to them how happy I am that I went, I'm so happy I danced, caught up, played in the photo booth and even met new friends. It was my favorite night that I've had in a while and I mean that. Like I said, short and sweet post tonight, but don't worry because I also learned that night that you guys actually enjoy reading this thing and I NEED to get better at this! That being said, I've got two more that I'm working on as you read this. Thank for you reading my random thoughts and terrible at times writing, I like to write how I speak, I think that makes it even more real than it actually is. Oh! here are a couple of pictures from that great night, Osseo, let's not make it another decade!

Osseo Kicks 2006!

If you had asked me 3 months ago if I'd be attending my 10 year (HOW!?) High School reunion, chances are I would have said "no". No, I didn't really have a bad experience in school, most of that happened in Jr. High. I had two guys pretend to have a crush on me because it's funny to play a joke on the fat girl, and I had one REALLY mean girl named Kenosha, she went on to another school not even in by district and I'm not even sure she graduated. As for the mean boys, I remember one of them saying "who would want to wake up in the morning next to Katie Toupal?" Yeah. That hurt. No wonder I lack confidence in the dating department. One of them went on to Park Center, and the other left me alone, even when we had a class together. Back to my original point, I'm rambling. I would have said no just because I was extremely embarrassed by where my life was heading. I was unemployed pretty much, just serving lattes, living at home and extremely single; I got the invite a week after being fired! Well, one of those has changed and I'm damn proud and excited to talk about where I'm working. I've dreamt of working at this station since it launched. And I went through absolute hell to get here. But I did it! I'm still living at home, yes. That'll change with time and it's not like I want to, I have no financial choice. And my dating life? Well.. yeah. Single.. Perpetually and hopelessly devoted to a guy who could care less of my existence.. But that's okay, I'm independent and dating is absolutely exhausting, the right guy will come when we're both ready... Or some cheesy thing like that. A friend asked if I was bringing anyone, nope.. I got one ticket. "But Katie, who are you going to hang out with?" One thing I've always been proud of myself for is how I handle a social situation. Sometime back in 8th grade, I snapped and decided I wasn't going to be shy anymore. Awkward? Absolutely! But quiet? no. I had my go-to friends in high school and I'm so excited to see them and visit with them and their spouses but i also know that I'll be okay mingling and chatting with people whom maybe I never spoke to in school. It'll be fun! Here's A throwback Pic for ya! Another reason I can't wait is because I am NOT that girl anymore! That girl was eating fast food and sitting on the couch with ice cream every night and was left out on the field for mile run day! I'm proud of that. call me arrogant, that's fine. But I earned the right to be happy and proud of myself, right!? The big night is Saturday (post-Luke Bryan hangover will be in full effect!) Check back here for how an update sometime next week!

The Scale Is Just A Number

I haven't stepped on a scale since I moved back home from Montana.. Nearly one year ago! I hate it, it means nothing to me, It doesn't know that I go to the gym and push myself 6 days a week, two hours a day. It doesn't know and it doesn't care. That being said, I had been feeling like I would see results and two GUYS, one of them being my trainer mentioned that I looked smaller... "way smaller." So, I did it. I went into the bathroom at the gym yesterday and stepped on. The number on that scale went against any compliment anyone has given me about looking in better shape. It ruined my mood, my workout and confidence for the day. Stepping on the scale and seeing that number didn't make me think "Oh, maybe it's the scale, I don't know how to use this one." It made me mad. I've been pinching every penny to eat right and pay for good workouts and the support of an amazing trainer/friend and I've got nothing to show. We all know that's a load of shit. Me feeling fat the rest of the day and being on the verge of tears was for no reason. Yes, it's normal, I should feel disappointed, but that's crap. Hell, on Monday, we had a reps challenge and I was intimidated by the fit girls by my side and i was the first one done. I wanted to puke, but I did it. so, screw the scale. I emailed Kirk (trainer) and told him how upset I was and he reminded me that we switched up my workouts to lifting more, so I've definitely got more muscle than fat mass and that's where the scale doesn't know. and he said I was looking "way way smaller." It's really hard not to let the scale get to me, but that's why I lean on the trainer and everybody at my gym. we push each other and motivate each other. Anybody who finds themselves in a life long battle with that thing needs to pay more attention to themselves, what they're doing, how they're eating, how are the clothes fitting. HOW DO YOU FEEL? That's what's important. screw the numbers!

Back Where I Belong!

After 6 LONG months of being quiet and feeling like my life was over, that my country radio dream was never going to happen, I can happily say that I'm back! Where? You ask? Am I moving away again? No! Minneapolis, I'm Back and it feels good to be......

Buzn! I've wanted for a LOOOOOONG time to be apart of this amazing station and I'm so happy that they're willing to give me a chance! When can you hear me? Thursday and Friday nights 7pm-10pm and Sunday nights as well. I'm so excited to get to talk to the audience again about the music that I feel so passionately about and most importantly, I can't wait to connect with listeners again! My first shift is this Thursday night (7/21) tune in! I'm incredibly nervous, but I'm counting down the seconds! A big thank you to everyone who has kept me from falling apart and who kept telling me that I'll be okay, you were right!

5K Playlist

I'd been wanting to run the Twin Cities In Motion's Red, Whitw and boom 5k for a few years, so today, I did! It was a beautiful course and a fun environment, can't wait until next year! I had said when I registered that I wanted to do it in 35 Minutes or less and I was pretty confident that with the interval training I've been doing, I'd be able to easily meet that goal. Did I?

Hope. Missed it by 4-ish minutes. Dang it! I'm happy with it considering how crummy I was feeling this morning, and one thing I told my trainer was that it was nice not being one of the last ones to finish; normally I'm in the very back of the group. I'll take that as a victory in my book! Before you tell or roll you eyes, there's nothing wrong with being in the back of the pack, you're there, you're being active and you should be proud of that! One of my favorite parts of these organized runs is getting to make a playlist. I make a different one each time I go out, a lot of the songs are the same, but I'm tricking my mind by throwing a few new ones in there.... Or something like that! I do, however, have two songs that MUST be on every one: Jason Aldean (obviously)- Night Train. If you follow me on any form of social media, you know that this is my 1 song I could listen to for the rest of my life and be perfectly happy if I never heard any other song again. Something about it brings me back to earth whenever I'm in a stressed out moment or just need to stop and breathe. We all have something that does that for us, this does it for me. It's always placed in the middle of a run. And the other? Life House (yes)- Hanging By A Moment. Whenever I say this to people, they laugh. Maybe it's a personal connection to the song, a memory that it brings back, something about screaming along to this song is extremely helpful to me in any given moment. I'll never not listen to this song. As for the rest of the playlist, check it out and enjoy :).

How Getting Fired Changed Me

It's been almost 6 months since I heard the words "today is your last day," and as I have more time to think about it, I've started to think about all the ways this experience has ruined me. How it has completely changed me into a person I don't like at all. Aside from the typical and expected loss of income, being bored, feeling lazy and doubting yourself, I've noticed other things. I use to be this girl who could walk into a room full of strangers and own it. I was perfectly fine on my own and mingling, and if I wasn't comfortable, I faked it til I made it. All of the confidence I've built up over the years is gone. I feel myself becoming the shy girl I was back in Junior high before I stopped caring what people thought of me. Granted, some of the lack of confidence came from being rejected by a guy whom I fell petty hard for, but the rest of it came along when I lost my job. I find myself constantly worried that people are judging my or disappointed in me. I call myself a loser on a regular basis and that's the truth. And I know, I can hear people saying now, "you should be proud of the things you accomplished in other areas of your life, your weight loss." I know. I am proud, the gym is quite possibly the only place I go where I feel I can be myself and not feel this way. So hold that lecture, I got it. This is different. I find myself worried that when i walk away from someone, they immediately talk about me, I constantly feel like I'm bothering my friends if I text them something and unlike my past self, I find social situations a little scary now. I also find myself angry more often or in a bad mood. I use to always wear a smile on my face but now, even fake smiles are hard to come by. Most of that comes when I have to go clock in at my part time/in between jobs job, I cringe whenever anyone asks how I am. It's not their fault, they don't know what happened and I know that also, otherwise I wouldn't have just written that. I use to always be the one looking to try new things or go with the flow, but now I feel like I'm sitting around waiting for the next thing to go wrong. I feel like what can go wrong will go wrong. I adore my mom, but the thing that really bothers me about her is the fact that she never leaves the house unless it's for work, she fears life and adventures. That's not a way to live, I went skydiving last year, that's the way I want to live, but here I sit, worried. One thing I have gained though is my appreciation for the little things. Things like when my dog is out on a walk but he runs back to jump up on me to check in then go back to sniffing the grass, the summer nights sitting around a fire, the sunset in albertville every night, the little things. I was always go go go and paid no attention to how comforting little small things could be until now. So where am I at? I had an interview last week in Sioux Falls, SD and I enjoyed my stay. The staff was amazing and the location was great, now to play the waiting game. I've also got an interview Wednesday, I've never wanted a job more. I'm not a big "send good vibes" type of person, but cross your damn fingers for me that this goes well. There is one thing that hasn't changed and that's my will to keep fighting. I still workout every day and eat healthy and I look for jobs every day and apply when I see one that looks like a good fit for my experience. That radio station may have completely destroyed me, but they can't take that from me, they tried, but I will fucking win that battle. Last thought, I don't want pitty. I don't want people feeling bad for me or telling me that it's going to be okay, I wrote this for people who have been in this situation, so they know they're not alone in how they're feeling. That, and I'm sick of lying and telling people that I'm doing good or just fine. That's not real, but these struggles are.

Memories With Grandpa

I often get asked the questions wondering what happened to my dad or asking if I've ever met him and you know what? I don't need to! I have no interest. My "dad" made the decision to not be in my life. Ever. He doesn't deserve to know me and I often tell people that it's his loss because it is. It was my gain, too. I had a grandpa! I spent every weekend with him growing up and I consider myself to be the female version of him. He was funny, he found humor in everything. He was nice to everyone as we all should be. He was everything a Person should be and I'll never know another person like him as longn as I live. I remember loving Taco Johns as a kid,'so every Saturday, we'd go to white bear lake and he would order two tacos for each of us and we would sit by the lake and I use to think it was so funny the way he would eat them. It was like he was digging his face into the wrapper and devouring that as well. Every time I eat a taco, it brings me back to moments like that. People always make fun of me for loving to watch golf, I looked forward to phone conversations with him and making fake bets on who was going to win that weekend. I loved listening to him tell the pro through the television, as If they could hear him, what they should have done instead, or yelling at the ball. Anything, he knew best and I loved learning the game of golf through his eyes and ears. And you know how grandpa always knows best when it comes to fixing things? Well, he was always over at my house as a kid fixing my moms junky car, especially her muffler. Just like any other week, it had fallen down and grandpa and I picked up the wrong part at the store so he scrambled through the garage to find ANYTHING that could possibly work. What did he use? A training wheel. Yep, you read that correctly. He had somehow found a way to wrap my training where around it and rig the muffler back into its place. No "dad" could ever think of that in my life. A training wheel. How, um, creative! I would often call him around election season because it was fun to get him fired up. Neither of us wanted to argue with the other, but we secretly were arguing in our own minds. One of my favorite phone calls came when I was in college and Obama had been elected for his first term, there was a block party going on in Mankato. I answered his call and he said "I'm just calling to say that, well, whoever it is you voted for, I hope they won. I love you, good night." He was so upset by the election but he couldn't bare to ask me who I voted for. I still have a voicemail from him on that Election Day. I will keep that forever. One of my last memories with him came on my 21st birthday, I believe he knew he was sick and wouldn't get better. He called me up and asked for cake and ice cream and I couldn't say no. I went over and spent the day of my 21st birthday with him. Little did I know that that was the last day I would get to spend in the garden with him picking flowers and helping him with the tomato plants that I loved so much. He died the next month and I say holding his hand as long as possible. I can still her the smile on his face when I told him I wasn't leaving.

There's so much of him that I see in myself and I don't ever spend a day not thinking of memories like the ones I just told you about. His ability to light up a room and wear a smile on even the toughest days always blew My mind. I love how stubborn I am because of him, he taught me that it's okay to not be shy and to talk to strangers. We couldn't go to fleet farm on Saturdays unless we had a 5 hour time block because he would just stand and talk to everyone. My friends can't take me anywhere now without me doing the same. I hope that makes him proud. So back to the point of this, no, I don't need to know anything about my "dad" because I had one and no one will replace that relationship. I'm the winner because he chose to not be in my life, I had my grandpa!

Why?

I've spent the day watching the news trying to come up with words to describe how I'm feeling for the victims in the latest attacks in Orlando and I could only come up with one. "Why?" One, a up and coming singer who was just signing autographs for her fans. She was killed. Why? And not too long after, a different "man" opened fire on a gay nightclub killing 50 people and injuring even more. Why? Why can't we all accept that people come in every way, shape and form? Why does it matter our race, religion and who we love? None of these things should ever cause so much hated and give anyone reason to kill innocent people. It's because of these senseless people that we live in this great country, yet we have to be afraid. We have to be afraid to send our kids to school, we have to be afraid to be in a crowded and public place now because there are some awful people in this world. Just tonight, I was at the laundromat and a woman sped up, she parked sideways and left her car running. That caused me to get nervous and run out only because I've been watching the news and seeing horrific events unfold. Is that the way they want it? And by saying "they," I'm not calling out race, religion or sex. I'm saying "they" as in anybody who would to such a terrible and unthinkable thing! Do that want is to live in fear? Does it make them feel like they've won? If they too don't lose their lives while doing these things, do they go home with a smile on their faces? Why is it so hard to be kind and respectful? To be a good human being? It's not hard. It's hard to understand hot anybody could be so hateful, so angry. And I'm tired of the excuses we hear. "It's a mental health thing," "he saw two men kissing and it set him off," "he didn't like the professors." Whatever these excuses are, there is never a good reason to harm another. It's never okay. It's not okay that these mothers on the news tonight lost their sons or daughters who just went out to enjoy life and celebrate on a Saturday night. It's not okay that people lost their significant others, their best friends. I had to get it off my chest, I tried talking it out with someone earlier and nothing came out other than "why?"

28, Feelin Great.

My Birthday was last week and I had what everyone should have, a Birthday weekend! I know you've all been sitting at the edge of your seat to hear all about it, so here you go! Two of my closest friends had a Birthday on Friday and I knew I'd want to celebrate with me, so we had our mutual friends over at My friend JT's house and had a barbecue with some drinks and a fire. Did I follow my diet that night? No! I ate really good for most of the day, ran 5 miles and then I allowed myself to eat whatever was at this gathering. Let me tell you, I'm still not to the point where I don't hate myself for indulging a little. I took one bite of our ice cream cake and instantly felt guilty and I continued to do so until the next day at the gym. It's okay that I splurged, I know that. I'm better today about it because I got right back to the foods that do my body good. I'm over it! Friday was a day of catching up with friends over lunch and coffee, one was Steph, I met her through the gym and she never fails to motivate me to keep going. We talked about how life has been going, how out fitness is going and yes, Our dogs. Love her! Another was my friend Jason, I met him about 10 years ago working at Caribou! No, he didn't work there, our friendship is a reminder of why you should always strike up a conversation with someone you don't know, it could turn into something great! Saturday was AMAZING! My wonderful friend, Amanda, got tickets to the Twins game from work and took me with her!

The game was on a rain delay, so we wandered around and along the halls there, they have names of the lakes on Minnesota, I had to stop and take a picture of the white bear lake name. I spent weekends there as a kid with my grandma and grandpa. My grandpa was my hero, he still is even though I don't get to call him or see him anymore.

After the game, we met up with ladies from the gym and they were determined to make sure I was happy and having fun. They succeeded. I'm so lucky to have met this group of girls, and to think, I never would have met any of them had I not started working out with our trainer. That's crazy to me! My birthday felt incomplete until I celebrated with them, it was a night that will forever put a smile on my face!

They aren't in that picture, but my friends Mike and Kallie came out with us, Kallie joined in on the fun to find me a "Tommy" (listen to Trisha yearwood to know what that means.) They didn't succeed, but they will, I'm pretty confident in that. I love you all, thank you for making it an Amazing weekend and thanks to everyone who reached out to wish me a happy birthday, I felt the love that day and that feeling is still around today!

Goodbye, 27!

Another year has gone by and I must say, 27 has been "a doozy," but it wasn't all bad! In fact, some of the coolest experiences happens over the last 365 days. I've been messing around trying to find the best way to share those moments with you, so I hope this video works. Enjoy!

"F*** Being Single."

A few times a month, I have conversations about being single and how much it sucks with one of my best friends. Tonight, she said something to me that really made me sad. It was along the lines of her being worried that someone's not into her and thinking she's not worthy. This is what I said back: "You're amazing. Never think you're not worthy. Anyone who has crossed paths with you is lucky. Remember that :)" No one should EVER make her or anyone else feel unworthy of love and a relationship. Never. We all deserve to feel wanted and important to someone. I've got this one person in my life who has done a very good job in making me feel unworthy, even of his friendship at times. Once it came out that I had feelings for him and it was out in the open, I became an option and not a priority. That is never okay. It has taken me years to see that being ignored by someone whom I call a best friend isn't okay, especially when I have always made this person a priority. My poor girlfriends who have stayed up late with me talking this through! I'm sorry!! What I'm also thinking about now is, why do we complain about being single? Is it because everyone around us is getting married? For me, I just want someone to have someone to tell good news to when it happens right away, or Someone to call when something bad happens and I want someone to hang out with and be my best friend. There is nothing wrong with that, right? Or maybe it's just a damn song coming through the speakers that triggers these angry, lonely feelings! Damn you, Ed Sheeran! I've gotten very good lately at telling myself that I deserve more and that's helped with this whole single thing. I'm okay being alone until I have someone who does want to hang out with me, share things with me and be a best friend. We're all worthy of that, aren't we?

What The Grey's!?

Tis the season of Shonda! Shonda Rhimes, that is!

If there's anyone who owns Thursday nights and cliffhangers, it's her and with it being finale week, who knows what she has up her sleeves. 

Tomorrow is the season finale of "Grey's Anatomy" and it's no stranger to having jaw dropping endings, and based on what cast members are saying, this one will be no exception. 

They're teasing it to be a bigger catastrophe than the death of McDreamy, Derek Shepard. How!!!? 

Since we're so close to the finale, here are my thoughts on a few situations. If you're not all caught up, stop reading! 

My favorites first. Jackson and April: get your shit together and be together!!! Their relationship has been a disaster, yes, but a beautiful one. They're best friends and they truly need each other. It's in the way they look at each other and talk about each other. My favorite moment, okay, my two favorites happened a few weeks ago when he was looking at their marriage documents and he went to april saying he was done fighting and that she was his favorite person, then she had him feel the baby kick. Classic Japril moment! My second favorite was last week, she was on the stairs and they were talking, he reached out to touch her belly and quickly pulled back. I cried like a baby! They need to be together. End of story. Come on, Shonda!Meredith: she only hooked up with Riggs to get back at Owen for his relationship with Amelia! Both Mer and Riggs have been super frustrated and haven't liked each other and some times, that's how we get over it. Hopefully it's just a fling... Please? I love the friendship she has with Dr. Karev, he's the only one allowed to put her in her place now that Yang and Derek are gone. Do I think she overreacted last week during her blow up with Amelia? A little. But there's usually more to the story and I'm sure we'll find it out later. I get it, everyone's life is coming together while hers is still in pieces. Why should she be happy? I wouldn't be!Jo and Karev: is she freaking crazy!!!? She said she couldn't marry him! Why!? I've been hoping for them to be married since she got into the picture. They're both dark and twisty, they're tough and came from a tough up bringing. They're perfect together! I'm sure things about Jo will be coming out, there has to be a method behind that madness. Right? What do you think? Another question, my mom is hoping for Karev and Meredith to come together. I'm slowly coming around to that, what do you think?Owen and Amelia: I can't stand Amelia. I don't understand why she's here and I especially don't get that relationship. Maybe it's because I loved Christina Yang, maybe it's because they're on again/off again is annoying or maybe I just don't like her. Maybe it's all of the above? Either way, not a fan and who knows if it's actually going to happen. Arizona and Callie: GOODBYE Penny!!! I hope she's gone to New York and never comes back. That whole story line to me was ridiculous. She was a constant reminder that Derek was gone. How could Callie love her? And she loved her enough to think about giving everything up! I've never been a fan of Arizona until this season. I've always thought she was whiny and gross, but in the courtroom episode aired, I, along with everyone there, quickly became a fan. I'm happy about the way things played out there, Callie had it coming. With the finale coming tomorrow, I'll wait a few days and then come right back here for a recap! I'll let the important blogs/magazines spoil everything first!

Just A Thought

I've never thought of myself as an inspiration, in fact, I never know how to respond when someone says that I've inspired them. It brings tears to my eyes, the good kind, and I always only say "thank you," and move about the conversation. 

Tonight, I got a message from someone who use to come see me at my first Caribou store. She knew me when I was just an intern at a radio station, she knew me when I was 356 lbs, haven't seen her in years!

Why am I sharing this? Why not!? 

No, seriously, I don't think we ever know the impact of the nice things we say or do for eachother. 

Last night was another one of the nights where I faked a smile as I went through my shift of slinging lattes. I kept excusing myself from the counter so I could go in the back and give myself a pep talk and remind myself that this is a job and not a career. (Thanks to my friend, Bev, for pointing that out last week.)

My point is, that message was exactly what I wanted to hear. Exactly what I needed to hear. In a sense, it lifted a little weight off my shoulders and I don't know why. 

When you guys say that I've motivated or inspired you, you truly are doing just the same for me. Those sweet words keep me pushing for those extra pounds towards my goal and towards sending in yet another demo to a radio station. Thank you for that!

I think that sometimes, we hold in a compliment from someone because we think they won't care if we like their necklace or if we thought their joke was funny. But the truth is, we all need to hear good things about ourselves, don't we all deserve to? 

Don't hold back the next nice thing you want to say to someone, they may be having a terrible time and you could be exactly what they need. Even if you've never even met that person before.  

My Bi-Weekly Check In

Ok, maybe it's a tri-weekly thing, not sure. Life has been a bumpy road, like the last few months, so that's new? 

I owe you an apology for not having pictures from my Vegas trip and that's because I didn't go. The bigger apology goes to my best friend out there for me not showing. 

Why did I show? My mom hasn't been the healthiest of people throughout life, and life threw a little reminder of that our way. 

I was at the gym the morning before I was suppose to leave for my trip when I got a call that my mom needed to be taken to the ER. 

Won't go into blah blah details because nobody wants to hear that. So how is she now? Still trying to figure out what's wrong. But she's alive, that's what matters. 

The same day this all happened was the day we lost a true treasure to the music world, Prince. 

It's going to be one of those moments where I'll always remember where I was, who I was with and how I felt when the news broke. I wanted to cry but couldn't, I just remember telling to the radio," why!? No!" 

My jaw was on the floor and I didn't leave my couch for two days because I wanted to take in all the news I could about this. It consumes me. 

That Sunday, I woke up to rain and wanted to go visit Paisley Park. Let me tell you, Minnesota, you're perfect. Perfect in the way that we all came

Together and forgot about all the other protesting and drama that had taken over our state and it was to remember our hometown Prince. 

Just looking at all the memorials set up, the block parties and all the messages was enough to finally bring the waterworks from me. It was amazing. 

Prince was different and he made it okay for others to be different. There are so many artists who wouldn't be who they are without his influence. The music world owes him. 

I'm no longer paying attention to the news, though, because I don't want to know. Was it drugs? Maybe. Maybe it was an overdose. Who knows? But leave him alone. And I do fully understand that the media has to cover it. It would be lethal not to, I'm just not paying attention, let Prince remain a Prince. 

Another legend in the business is Garth Brooks! My friend, Kallie and I went on a road trip up to Fargo to get our fix of him and it was every bit of therapy that I needed! 

On the way there and back, we listened to the music we grew up on, the good 90's country, and shared stories that came with every song. Those were their old days! 

Someone I made a latte for said Fargo was a long ways to travel to see a concert, they're crazy. It's not just a concert. Garth Brooks is Garth Brooks. He's there for us. He knows the songs we want to hear and he talks to his audience like no one I've ever seen. He knows that we all pay to see him and he appreciates it. He gets it. Oh, and his wife is perfection. 

The coolest part of the show was when it was just Garth on stage with his guitar and he was reading the signs in the crowd then playing whatever song the sign holder wanted to hear. You tell me who else would do that. He played a couple's first dance song and the guy cried! 

Last but definitely not least, the job update. I had a job lined up in Fargo, I signed my contract, finally

Figured out a living situation and then my mom got sick. 

I did what any good daughter would do and asked for some time so that I could make sure she'll be okay. 

They said no. So it's back to square one. 

That's it for the update, I've sent out a couple more demos in hopes that somebody will take a chance, let's keep our fingers crossed. 

And as usual, thank you for all the love and continuing support! 

The First Two Weeks Suck

I met a new friend over the weekend at a housewarming party for one of my best friends and she mentioned that she loved going to farmers markets. 

As I got to talking to her more, I learned that she was getting ready to change her life! She's starting the whole 30 diet on Monday. 

Talking to her, reminded me a lot of my self, she said she's scared, she doesn't like he way she feels anymore and just doesn't feel good. 

Even if she didn't want it, I offered up some advice and this is what I said:

The first two weeks blow. They suck. There's no sugar coating that. You're not eating all the things you want, you feel tired and you're always hungry, they suck! 

I remember my first week of workouts after going hard core paleo, I was tired, crabby, dizzy and I always had a headache. My body was going through major withdrawals, but Kirk kept promising it would get better and it did. 

I started seeing the weight drop again and I felt, for lack of a better term, cleaner. 

She also mentioned that she had never really had a good support system, you can't do this without someone or a group of people backing you. No way!

I started making friends at the gym because I knew I didn't have support at home so I had to find it elsewhere and some of those people are now people I couldn't live without! 

We talk to eachother when we want to eat a big bowl of ice cream, have a bad day on the scale or when we just need a simple "you're amazing" text message. Everyone needs that, regardless of what you want to succeed at, right? 

I'm so happy I met her and I can't wait to watch her crush it! Just get through the first two weeks, girl. You've got it!

What I've Been Up To

First off, thanks to an Instagram follower for calling me out on being a terrible blogger and not updating for a while and asking for an update!

Secondly, I'm sorry! I've told you, I'm bad at this. I've gone around in circles daily wondering what to write about, and nothing made me so fired up that I had to write, so I didn't. I'm sorry!

Here's what I've been up to the last two weeks:

I started full time back at the coffee shop. 39 hours a week, 12-7:30 each day. I've had to re work my workout schedule, my eating schedule and say farewell to my social life, or so it feels. 

I could write about that or post here when I get home at night, but I want to walk my dog and eat before dark.. And then I fall asleep. Sorry! 

Something cool did happen there last week; a woman who I met at my original store came in and didn't recognize me. Once I started a conversation with her, she realized who I was. She said she didn't recognize me because I look so different than the last time she saw me. In the back of my mind, the whole time I've been losing weight, I always wanted that to happen. It sounds dumb, but that was a victory. That moment made the last few years worth it. It put a smile on my face that had been missing for months! 

The job front:

I posted that I want this mug on my first day at a new radio job. What I should have said was "once I get a new radio gig, I'm rewarding myself with this mug."

I've had a ton of interviews, reached

out to personal connections and sent hundreds of demos. I'm trying. Hard. 

I met with a local small station here a few weeks ago, it wasn't for a country spot, but it was mornings and it would hold me over until I found something. Had my heart set on that. My friend there called me today and apologetically said he couldn't take me on as a paid employee. They just don't have the money like he had hoped. I'm crushed. But I respect him for being honest with me and caring enough to call and keep me in the loop. He actually wants me to succeed. 

I also had an interview for a station in Wisconsin, it went good, the guy was great and super nice to me. He said he was impressed with my knowledge and passion for the industry. It's a top 40 station and mornings, nothing came of that interview, but I'm glad I talked to them strictly because of the nice things that guy had to say. 

In more positive news, I do have a contract somewhere. I've been in contact with this station pretty much since I was fired. I'm not going to announce where it is or my time slot until I find a place to live. I've been struggling and stressing about that and it's hard to get excited until that slightly important factor gets taken care of. Stay tuned. (What's the proper blog term for that?)

To all of my supporters and followers, hold tight, I'll be back in your radio/smart phone soon. Sooner rather than later. I promise. 

I've had people reach out to me on Twitter and Instagram asking when they can hear me again, you guys will never know how happy those messages have made me. They have made me miss country radio and the microphone more than I already did. I love you guys. 

I'm heading to Las Vegas this weekend to see my best friend, Leah. God, I miss her and I need her! Follow me on Twitter/Instagram @RadioKatie1 for our shenanigans, I cannot WAIT! 

Have a good week, and thank you

For calling me out on not posting ;). 

Why I Didn't Bring The Drink Back

It seems like such a small, dumb thing to bitch about when someone gets a bad cup of coffee or is given the wrong food order and I totally understand both sides, in fact, today, I was almost that person I hate the most. 

I had just gotten done with 2 hours at the gym, and I wanted to reward myself with an iced latte with almond milk from a specific coffee shop. So, I stopped at cub foods just because they had that coffee shop inside. 

I could tell that the woman working (by herself, by the way) hadn't worked there very long or at least not very often. 

I ordered my latte, repeated it back to her so she could ring it in. Paid 5.67! What!? That's insane. This better be good, right? 

She proceeded to make it. I watched her. She messed up by putting a flavor shot in it. I nicely said "no flavor, please." 

Then she looked down at the recipe cards and was talking to herself. I kept watching, knowing in my mind this was going to be bad. 

She handed me the drink, definitely not an iced latte, but I said thank you and walked away. I walked to the doors to go back to my car and drive to the other shop just down the street to return the drink there in hopes to not embarrass the poor woman. But I didn't. 

Why? I paid almost $6.00 for this drink!

It's not her fault. Yeah, she could have studied the drinks more, listened better or asked questions. But he trainers could have done a better job and why was she left alone if she didn't have the experience? This poor woman was put into a busy store in Maple Grove, a city with very difficult people to deal with when you catch them on a bad day. I felt bad for her! 

If I had brought that back, I knew I wasn't the first person to do that today, and I knew it would piss her off and throw her even more off her game. I've been there, I understand! So the iced espresso with a splash of almond milk was consumed. With a little regret and anger, but it was worth it to not ruin her day. 

5 Favorites Right Now!

It's one of my favorite times of year, ACM weekend! All the country stars flock to Vegas to perform and maybe give out a few awards!

I was actually suppose to be in Vegas this weekend, but we won't get into that. Instead, I thought I'd let you in on my 5 favorite songs playing on country radio right now! (Click the titles to hear the songs!)

1. Jason Aldean- "Lights Come On"

Obviously, it's my guy. I got this song midnight Friday and it's the only thing I've been listening to. It's an old to the #AldeanArmy, the ones who spend their hard earned money to be able to see his shows, couldn't be happier with the lead single from his next album; Aldean and the boys about to blow it up!

2. Maren Morris- "My Church"

I swear, I've never really been a church goer, and I love to escape and crank my radio up to sing along really loud. Basically, if I could sing and write a song, this is what it would sound like!

3. Jon Pardi- "Head Over Boots"

I heard this back in October and I thought "man, this is cheesy. But why can't I stop smiling!!" I love the old timey sound of this song and the lyrics like "The way you sparkle like a diamond ring, maybe someday we'll make it a thing." Pardi is super hard to resist in this one! 

4. Chris Young w/Cassadee Pope- "Think Of You"

First, I think we can all agree that Cassadee sings the heck out of this song. Wow! There's a chance you've seen/heard me around town screaming this song at the top of my lungs. I just can't help myself! It's about dating one of your best friends, then you break up but you guys have the same friends and no one knows why and think it's dumb that it ended. So good! 

5. Brett Eldredge- "Drunk On Your Love"

Can I just first confess that all I want in life is to be that pillow? Click the link. Watch the damn video! It's also another "scream singer!"

Honorable mentions because I need to include TR:

Thomas Rhett- T Shirt

He's the future of country music. This song makes you wanna dance and sing and it also puts a smile on your face as you think of that one person you just can't break free from!

Kelsea Ballerini- "Peter Pan"

Basically for all of us who knew better than to give our hearts to someone who will never stick around, but we did it anyways!

Back To Bou.

About three weeks ago, someone reached out to me to come help out at her Caribou store until I found a job back in radio. 

Well, I thought about it, got angry, cried a bit and then said "okay." 

 

This is what it's like to go back to your college job. 

I'm wasting everyone's time being retrained, as it turns out, making a latte is just like riding a bike, you never forget it. 

To the company and the suites, though, it doesn't matter. I was gone for almost a year, and I've spent the last two weeks filling out all the same books, watching people make terrible lattes and mochas and learning how to punch in the numbers all over again. If there's anything that pisses me off, it's wasting time and I've feel like that's what I've been doing. 

I have, however, enjoyed seeing peole who use to come into my old store, I've loved catching up with them! But there's also a negative to catching up with them..

The reason I didn't go back to my original store is because I can't tell the story of how messed up everything is anymore. I know that they want to know and that they care, but I've told it hundreds of times and I just don't have the strength to do it. 

I've had to excuse myself from the counter to go into the bathroom and cry. I cry because I'm so angry that this is how it's panned out for me. Where did I go wrong? This is not how it was suppose to go. 

I have that same meltdown every time I tell the story and after every shift on the drive home. That, my friends, is not healthy. 

I opened the arbor lakes store back in 2006 and worked there full and part time up until I moved to Montana. Never did I think I would be back. But here I am. And I'm not happy. 

And my goodness, I love my friend/manager, but she tells me to smile all the time. Guess what, that leads to tears, too. Never tell an angry person to smile or cheer up. Doesn't end well for anyone! 

And I can hear the voices out there telling me to just be happy it's a job for now. To those people, stop it. I get it.  I don't need the whole lecture saying "be glad they took you back. You made decisions that got you here. Money is money." Blah blah blah. See? Just have myself the lecture. 

Needed to get that off my chest, so thanks for sticking around, if you did! 

Angry notes aside, my friends. I've got an amazing group of friends surrounding me and that is one thing I know and and beyond grateful for. Some of them know when I need to vent, others know when I just want to zone out and forget for a while or if I don't want to talk and just need my space. I love them for that. I don't know what I did to deserve them, but man, I'm so lucky to know each of them. I should thank them every day, because 2015-16 has been quite the ride. Some friendships have been lost, and that's sad, but I'm more happy about the friendships that have gotten stronger through the rough patches, you guys know who you are (Including my dog) and I love you! 

 

 

Dealing With Cravings And How I Resist

I asked and someone delivered! 

 I asked you to let me know what I should write about and someone listened! 

Rachel, she use to come into Caribou all the time and I became close to her and her daughter, Kelsey. She asked a question I get all the time! 

"I would love to know about how you work through days when eating healthy is tough for you. How did you cross that threshold? Any specific strategies that you use?"

That's a great one, considering the other night I had a dream that I was at a birthday party where I ate a half a pizza, two muffins, a cookie, a donut, a cupcake and ice cream all in about 30 minutes. I woke up pretty hungry! 

The truth is, I never get over those cravings, especially in hard times, but I never give in. 

Right. But how!? 

I think of how I use to be, how I ate, how I felt and how I looked or how about the fact that walking made it hard to breathe? What got me there? Giving in to those bad cravings to have a gallon or 5 of ice cream. I use to feel slow and greasy and sweaty all the time, I like how I feel now! And, I know that if I give in to a pile of cupcakes, I will hate myself for a long time afterwords. 

Oh, and I can hear my trainers voice in my head saying "so, how's that nutrition going for you?" (Thanks, Kirk, you're haunting me.) 

I'm not always perfect, either. I do allow myself a sensible cheat every now and then, but I don't do a cheat day... Usually it's a cheat item. My metabolism still isn't in a place where it's use to healthy eating, my body still holds onto a lot of crap if I allow it into my system.. So I choose to avoid it if possible. 

Another tip is to find substitutes! Here are some of my favorites:

-Frozen Blueberries! I CRAVE ice cream daily, hell, hourly. These are a great sweet tooth fix! One cup is 100 calories or less!

-Almond milk, one of my favorite cheat items is to heat up organic dark chocolate almond milk. Boom. Hot chocolate!

- Angie's boom chicka pop popcorn. It's gluten free and free of chemicals and such. I may be addicted to it, but a handful is more than satisfying. But, confession time, I'm not perfect and I have enjoyed a full bag in one sitting. Oops. 

 

-Almonds. Great for energy, buy the emeralds 100 calorie packs and keep them in your purse or desk. (NOT THE FLAVORED ONES!!!) 

-Sweet Potato.. Ever had a craving for a hamburger but don't want the carbs of the bun. Slice a sweet potato into thin, round pieces, roast them. Put your burger between two of those pieces. You're so very welcome ;). 

Another tip, load up on protein and healthy fats. Carbs make you crave things, protein fills you up! 

I also eat more smaller meals throughout the day, not three meals. That's a load of crap. If I only ate three times a day, not many people would like me. You'll be hungry less if you eat 6 smaller meals a day. Try eating a little something every two hours! And it's true, never skip breakfast!!!! I'm absolutely miserable if I don't eat before 9am!

I'm not an expert, I've gone through the lifestyle change and I know what it's like. I'm here to share with you what worked for me and that's all! 

Hope that answered your question, Rachel! 

I'm Really Bad At This!

A couple weeks ago, I made a promise to be better about writing here. Didn't take me long to break that, did it? 

I have a couple of reasons, but neither of them offer up a good, acceptable excuse. 

1. I don't want this to be a depressing place, I want you people to come here and leave smiling 90 percent of the time. And, the truth it, I'm very angry at how life has played out lately so a lot of my thoughts are angry and just stupid. 

I've never wanted to be one of those people who walk into a room and bring the mood down, I take pride in knowing I can make people laugh and smile, I love that. So if I feel like I'm going to be a downer, chances are, I'd rather just not say anything. 

2. I'll have an idea of something to write about and then by the time I get home, I've forgotten it. 

3. I'll have a thought but then I question whether or not anyone wants to hear about things like the job update, my favorite songs right now, finding the perfect trainer and whatever else flows through my mind. So I ask you, what do you want to hear about? Anything at all! Comment on this or tweet me @RadioKatie1 . I want this to be an interactive place! 

I'm working on a blog now that'll talk about my first few days back at my college job, no promises it'll be a happy post! 

The Final Rose!

Spoiler alert ahead, so if you haven't watched Ben propose yet, sorry!

Come on!!! We knew it was Lauren from like, week two! 

I sent a tweet when she got out of the limo that said something like "oooo, he likes Lauren!" How did I know? The freaking look! He looked at her in a way that we all want someone to look at us. He looked at her in a different way than any of the other girls! 

"But he loved JoJo, too!"

True. and the best argument I've heard on this is that he called her his best friend (I've got my own personal thoughts on falling for a best friend. I'm saving that for another blog.) and I agree 100% with the argument, but I was having a conversation with one of my best friends and if he really did love JoJo, then how is it that once Neil Lane asked if he made a choice, he easily, confidently said yes. 

I think his connection with JoJo may have been more of a physical attraction, where as Lauren is definitely a 100% emotional love. The real kind. 

And you JoJo lovers get to watch her give out roses come May!

I heard that the terrible women on "The View" today we're pissed that he called her dad before popping the question instead of mom. Well okay, miss "I take women's rights to a new low," are you kidding!? It's tradition that a gentelman call and ask for her dads permission. People like that have too much time and aren't happy with their lives. Come on! 

There is one thing that did throw me off, and again, maybe it's because of a personal connection, I don't know. I posted on Twitter and Facebook that I was annoyed when Ben said he was worried that things seem so easy and comfortable with Lauren. HE'S SCARED ABOUT BEING COMFORTABLE with the one he loves!? Why!!!??

Aren't you suppose so be at ease and comfortable with the person you spend your life with? Are you not suppose to feel like you can tell them anything, laugh, cry and be best friends with? Why does that scare people!? Ggrrrrr!!! Happiness and good comes from giving into your fears! *pulling my hair out and shouting this 

Anyways, that's what annoyed me

most. That and the extra long, corny speech given at the end when Ben took over for Chris Harrison, it was way past bedtime. Oh! And the ring. Of all the ones he had to choose from, why that one!? I didn't know Neil Lane had ugly rings! 

I say every year that I'm not going to obsess over it, that's a lie. I'm looking forward to May when JoJo starts passing out roses, one to the brother of GB Packer, Aaron Rodgers! 

Be sure to join me in tweeting about it, follow me @RadioKatie1

Until next time! 

Passion/$

I'm laying here on what seems like the millionth day of unemployment and I'm thinking about a news story I recently heard on Kare 11.

It basically said that Millenials (I hate that term) aren't making any more money than people our age were 30 years ago. 

I've never been one to really read more into a story, I'm a "get the headline and go" kind of gal, but one guy really stood out and hit home to me. 

He said he thinks it's because our generation focuses on finding a job that we're passionate about, something that gets us excited and not so much how much cash it'll get us. He hit the nail on the head!

In my current situation, people have talked to me and more annoyingly amongst themselves and said I should look outside of radio, find something that'll make me more money. But I don't want to, and I feel judged for that. Very judged. 

I live with my mom and every day she comes home complaining about her job, she's crabby and sometimes is afraid of her boss. Yeah, she makes "decent" money, but what kind of life is that!? I think of how different our lives would be, hers especially,  if she hadn't dropped out of nursing school just for the fact of making money quicker. 

If I was all about the money, I would have gotten a business degree, or gotten over my fear of needles and gone to medical school but I know that I wouldn't be happy. 

At some points in this radio journey did I lose sleep at night or feel stressed? Hell yes I did, but I didn't care. Country music is what I want to do, making people laugh makes me happy. If my job doesn't involve those two things, I don't want it. 

So, don't judge me. Especially because I'm one of the lucky ones who knows what she wants to do in life. A lot of people don't and they spend their lives trying to figure that shit out!

What's new on this job hunt?

I spent 8 years working for Caribou Coffee, a store manager/friend heard about my situation and said she needs my help. I swallowed my pride and told her I would be available to her, but if a radio job comes up, I'm out. She understands. 

I'm also heading out of town for a final interview with a country station. Do I want to move away again? Absolutely not. But, I realize that I have to if I want to ever put on my hot pink headphones again. 

That Kare 11 story is what encouraged me to go up for a final interview, I needed that push. I wasn't giving up, but I felt like I was giving in to failure and taking the easy way out by returning to a past job. If you know me, I do NOT take failure lightly. Just ask people who have watched me try and snowboard ;). 

Have a great weekend, I'll try and be better about posting! 

Here's the story: 

 

The Next Step

As I sit here on a Wednesday waiting to take a class that'll apparently teach me how to get another job, I wanted to share with you what I did on Monday as another step in the weight loss journey.

That's my friend, Kim and I at our gym about a year ago. She wanted to take a picture of our guns. I wasn't having it because of that flap of skin that is very obvious in this picture. 

I can't stand to look at myself in the mirror because of that. And I should be proud of it, that shows all my hard work over the years! 

It's loose skin, not fat anymore, just skin. 

So, since I've lost over 100lbs, I know that a lot of that isn't going to shape itself or go away, it means surgery of some sorts. 

After talking with my Trainer, Kirk, and he suggested getting a consult just to see what a surgeon has to say and get an idea of how much more work we have to do in order to qualify. 

Monday, I went in for a consult!! 

Let me tell you, I was expecting to be pinched and pulled, but wow! 

I had to strip down to the bra and undies, and then, when she looked at my legs/thighs, she even took the panty line even lower. Yikes! 

What was the result?

Better than I thought, I think!

I was certain going on there that my stomach was going to need a lot more work, wrong again!

My arms, very obviously, are ready for take off. Literally. 

My stomach.... Drumroll..... Underneath all that SKIN is definition! It's not fat, like I thought, it's skin! Close to 15lbs of skin! 

Sounds like great news, right?

Well, the problem is my legs. She said there's a lot of fat left on them and suggested Lipo. I don't really want to do that, I've been proud of the work I've been able to do and I'd like to work to get them a little closer to where they need to be. 

 

I do think I'm going to go in and get the arm wings taken care of. I wonder how much better just those alone would make

my workouts. Would that make my running time quicker? 

A lot to think about, so stay tuned! 

Ben loves her, but he loves her too?

One of my guilty pleasures since going to college in Mankato had been the Bachelor/Bachelorette series. I'm a JUNKIE!

I look forward every week to live tweeting it and sharing snarky remarks that do or do not make sense and I love it even more when the Twitter world responds!

I lived in Montana over the summer and toyed with the idea of going to the casting call for this season of the bachelor. Why I didn't go, again, no valid excuse! I'm still kicking myself because it ended up being Ben Higgins!

This week was the overnight date week, let's be honest. Who wouldn't take a fantasy suite with Ben? 

The thing that stood out to me the most happened in the first 5 minutes of the show, when he was talking about the three girls left. JoJo, Caila and Lauren B!

The way he talked about Lauren. The hopeless romantic in me couldn't help but smile, his voice was different, he was emotional, he needs to marry her like yesterday!

And then I started hating him. He made us all cry when he broke the rules and dropped "L" word to Lauren. But then, he said it to JoJo too! What the eff, Ben!? 

And the hatred grew. Caila. Oh, Caila. The poor girl was so happy going over there. Producers more than likely saw how happy she was and knew she was going home so they ruined her day on purpose. 

This was so hard to watch because we've all been there, we've all poured our hearts out to someone and expressed our feelings only to have them not reciprocated. It just plain sucks. So I feel for her, we all do. 

Also, her exit was the perfect set up for for next Bachelorette. I like Becca, but this was her second time around, amber has been on a few times with the franchise and the runner up, well, she won't be able to compare to Caila's exit. Let's be honest. 

The real question I have is How can he tell both women that he's in love with them!? If you love someone, to me, there's no one else. Even when you break up with someone but still love them, you can't love someone else and it would take a fight to convince me otherwise. 

So, do I think he loves either of them? No. I think he's got a better connection and he really really cares about Lauren in all the right ways, but likes JoJo's ... Umm, whatever. He can't love both of them. 

He gets emotional and all adorable when it comes to Lauren, like I said, just choose her!

What's with the previews? The phone call? Does he pull a Jason Mesnick and propose to the wrong girl? Has he not stopped thinking about our girl, Caila? 

I've had a hard time really getting into this season, but I'm super excited to see what happens there. 

I don't think I'll watch the women tell all because I never enjoy them, it makes me embarrassed to be a woman and seeing all the name calling and emotional breakdowns. We all have them, just behind closed doors or in our cars screaming to loud music. Any place other than national television, girls! 

On a completely different note, so many sweet words about my last post, even Heidi Powell saw it and gave me a virtual fist bump, yes! Your kind words are my motivation, so thank you again!

I went completely out of my comfort zone and took the next step in this whole journey. What was it? Check back tomorrow ;). 

356 Will Not Be My Number

A question I've been getting a lot over the past two years is "what made you start to change your ways and want to get healthy?" 

The left is me at my largest, 5 years ago!

It's funny, I actually remember the very moment when I decided that I wasn't going to live my life eating out of a bucket of ice cream alone on the couch on a Saturday night any more.

I was 24 and doing just that. I was sitting on my moms couch watching Saturday Night Live with her and she could barely walk to go to bed. 

I was watching her struggle as I was eating my bucket (yes, I'm talking bucket of Kemps strawberry swirl ice cream,) and I was disgusted by myself. Why was I doing that? 

I had absolutely no reason to be eating all of that, and I did it multiple times a week, so why? No idea. But I decided that if I kept going like that, I was well on my way to not being able to walk up to my bed without needing a break. 

That Monday at work, I received an email asking if I was interested in a gym membership to a new group fitness facility in Minneapolis. Now, I'm not a big "sign from God" kind of person, but come on!

I, like all of us who are starting this journey, cancelled my first visit with Jake, the owner of Kosama in Minneapolis. But I went the next day, terrified. 

I will never forget how I felt during that first workout. I was doing push ups standing up against a wall, I puked in the car on my way home, it was terrifying! 

I got home that day and threw out all my ice cream and started researching what I should be eating and how, the rest is history. 

Here I am, down just over 130lbs and a completely new person all because I decided I was no longer wanting to feel like I did on the couch that night! 

We can all go on and on about how we don't have time or how we just don't like to workout and we like to eat bread and chocolate, but the thing is, I promise you, once you actually decide "this is it. I want to change my life. I don't want to feel this way anymore." Those excuses go out the window. 

If you still have excuses, you're not 100% ready to take it on and if you're not ready, you'll get discouraged by excuses or even the smallest budge of the scale. I know. 

I hope this answered the question, it makes sense in my twisty mind, but if it doesn't answer it, please ask. 

Have you had "the moment?" What was it? 

 

And before I go off on another job searching adventure, thanks to everyone for all the love for my first post. Like I said, it's a work in progress and that's okay. 

Next post? Maybe a Bachelor reaction and after that, what keeps me motivated!

 

Here goes nothing.

For a few years, people have kindly requested that I do a blog of some sorts and for those few years, I thought "yeah! That sounds fun!" But I never did. Why? Great question. 

You see, I'm not exactly the BEST when it comes to where to put the commas and such; it seems like a lot of effort to write the "perfect" blog. But as I'm laying here, unemployed, I am thinking "who the hell cares as long as I know the difference between there and their!?" So, you got it! 

Since this is my first post, I won't go into any deep, emotional or even inspirational crap, just an intro into who I am and next week we'll get into the good stuff. Cool?

I'm Katie. I absolutely love my dog, Mauer. I love and breathe for country music, Jason Aldean is the key to my heart. If I'm on my 5th cup of coffee, just think of it as my lifeline, or yours. And, the girl you see smiling and running in that picture, never use to be that way until I found the gym where I've managed to lose over 130lbs and am still working on it. 

What do I do for a living? Well, if you were paying attention earlier, I'm unemployed. Yep, 27 and jobless. 

Ever since I was 9 years old, I wanted to be in radio. I thought of nothing else every day of my adolescence, besides boys, of course. I got to college, got an internship, then a part time job for someone I dreamt of working for. Then, I was offered a job co hosting on a country morning show in Helena, MT with an amazing boss. 

I packed up my little dog and my clothes and we rode off into the mountains to a new life. 

That's Mauer on the long car ride to MT, what a champ!

I was alone in my first apartment with my dog and an air mattress. Eventually, I met some nice people who befriended me, but it still felt empty. 

5 months later, I was offered a chance to move home. I struggled with this decision only because I had an amazing boss, but I took the job in St Cloud, MN and here I am back home. Unemployed, to my surprise. 

What did I learn? Well, nobody has time for that list. 

Unemployment sucks, I'm bored and constantly stressed out. But I've got my dog, great friends, the gym and country music. Oh, and coffee, of course. And to those friends, thank you for putting up with me through this. I love you guys and I will never be able to express how you guys saved me from escaping into a very dark place. 

It's very easy to find yourself in a dark, scary place, but make sure to know who you can call when you feel yourself slipping, it's then that you'll realize who really cares. 

Enough sappy crap, right? On to the job hunt I go! 

Next week, I'll answer the question I get asked the most, what made me start my weight loss journey?